Gratitude

Love. The number one thin I will always take for granted. I Get tough love from my boyfriend but that is all understanding on my view of the relationship. It's a love that won't compare to no other. Our relationship deals with a love that will always be taken for granted. We don't know how to grab right onto it and make it into something amazing. The love will always be special and important to me. But it will always be taken for granted. This tough love compared to my moms love differs a whole lot. Her love will always be unconditional and will always be forgiven. Often I make mistakes that just take so much to forgive but have the reassurance of her love is great. It's a love that gets taken for granted no matter what situation.

Without a doubt in my head I am truly grateful for my boyfriend. Ever since the huge drama with my ex-boyfriend, he has been a huge impact in my crazy life. With every step I take or decision I make, he is the only one who will advise and hold my hand throughout it all. We have been through tough times ourselves that it only makes us stronger and healthier. Now that I am living on my own, I get nothing but respect from him. He is someone that will always guide me into the right path. Whether he knows it's right or wrong he knows very well to lead me into the right path. Other than being my boyfriend he is a great friend and I can tell anything too. Nothing and no one will ever compare to him. I am grateful to have him in myife and I hope to have him for a longer time.

I can take in my thoughts much more and let it all out. A person can have so many thoughts that at times we just don't know where to put it all. There are times where I'm stuck in  a situation where I need to speak up but I won't speak up at the time. At work I'll have problems with a manager or someone I don't get along with and I won't speak up. Thats the main problem. I don't blab my thoughts to make changes. That goes for my boyfriend at times we'll argue but it won't go far because of me, nothing will get settled because I don't take the time to say what is truly important. I have to learn and take in what I have to respond or react when I'm in situations where its needed for me to do so. Its not easy for me to simple blab, I was never thought to do so. It runs in my family. With my family there was no communication what so ever, I guess that can be a reason to why I moved out and why us being in the same house can get annoying and bad at times. I know that it will eventually sink into me and I will speak what I think.

Five

The sun shining bright

flowers starting to bloom

spring is coming soon 

Early mornings

a tug on my blanket

the rugrat is up.

The wind blowing so hard

leaves flying everywhere 

when will it be warm.

A wonderful smile,

that I never see so often

brightens up my day.

two weeks, and she's off

a new journey without me.

I wish you luck mom.

Get Over It

As a human we all face many objects or obstacles that can become a fear. We must try to over come these fears in order to be sane. Some fears can revolve around our everyday life. I fear myself failing everyday. I wake up and realize that I have such a long day ahead of me. I just want to give up and make nothing out of myself. That is always in a moment thing. I know I want to succeed and go very far in life but there is always that small negativity in myself that with all this work it will wear off and I will fail. Failure is not joke, once you fail where do you go? How does someone pick up where they left off. I have failed at many things but currently my life is on the line and being made, failing would be the tear down of world. Right now at Bunkerhill everything seems to be very easy but once I get myself into a tougher college it'll be even tougher on me. Nothing will come easy, the fear of failing will overcome itself by proving to myself that I will be able to get through all of the bumps in this bumpy road.




 My biggest fear is a a silly fear that I believe I will never be able to get over. Im almost 20 years old and I cannot step foot into a science museum. Ever since kindergarten it became something I feared the most. What scares me is all the realistic animals and creatures staring at you. I have gone twice in my 20 years of life and those two times have been the worst days of my life. For my eighth grade trip we took a trip to this museum and I had forgotten how much I hated this place. The minute my friends wanted to go check out the dinosaurs I ran away crying and filled with anxiety. For the rest of that trip I stayed in the food court eating all alone. I think back to it and I absolutely hate the thought about it, I cannot imagine myself enjoying another trip there or being able to relax and observe whats great about it. My boyfriend finds it ridiculous that I'm this scared of walking into a place where it is all fake. Its all in my head to why I'm this scared but I just know in myself that I cannot go in there again. The worst part about all of this is that I want to become a first grade teacher and becoming a teacher means that I would have to take them and when that day comes, oh boy will I not be ready! 

Losing someone so important to me is the biggest fear I have to live with for the rest of my life. I am extremely close to my grandparents that losing either one of them will be the end of me. No one has any idea of how much I would give totem. I have lose a few family members that I have loved very much but the love does not amount to the love I have for my grandparents. Death is something you cannot get back, once it happens there is no way on going back. Not being able to fix what had happened or to be able to help out the situation will eat me alive. I have always told my grandmother that when she passes away, I'm going with her whether she likes it or not. Imagining a world without the person who has been there for your whole life is devastating to process in your head. At times these thoughts take out the best in me, just imagining myself alone with other the ones I love makes me fear it even more. We can't kill the thought of our fears or how we will overcome anythjng in our path. With strength and positivity anything can get done whether it can be fixed or not.

Fear me not 

Fear revolves all around us

How must we not fuss !

Overcoming such negativity 

When all we need is more positivity.

When failure happens 

It is there to stay

Everything stands in the way.

No more paying attention to making it better

What does it even matter? 

A dinosaur here and fossils there

So many creatures

GET ME OUT OF HERE !

A love so profound 

Why must you leave this bound.

When you part, I will be in pieces.  

How to pick up when your gone?

Take me with you, for I am done!

A never ending fear 

Always so near

Face it and you will become an extraordinaire.